Where are all the pictures?

I've been wondering why I've been feeling like this for some time now. Seems so out of place. I've been taking pictures since I was 12 years old. Most notably, I've photographed a hit TV show, shot a few weddings, portraits, and then some. I've derived great pleasure through photography over the years.

I don't take pictures anymore, at least not like I did.

When did this change? I'm a photographer, after all. Then it hit me today...my mom's gone. Since she passed away, I've only taken 265 pictures. This is in stark contrast to the nearly 800 photos taken during the same time period last year. Why the difference?

My mom was my biggest fan. We shared a love for photography & we'd frequently share our pictures with each other. Almost like a child's art hung on the refrigerator, I couldn't wait to show mom my latest "yes!" shot, or to email her the most recent Olivia picture for her computer desktop at work.

I've lost my biggest fan.

So, what am I going to do about this? Not take pictures anymore? To borrow from the cliche, I've got to get back on this particular horse & start photographing for myself again.

Mom wouldn't want it any other way.